DON TZU
Chapter IThe Art of Gathering Intelligence
The wise general knows his soldiers, but does not sell their secrets to the enemy. That would be a very bad deal.
Don Tzu (“the App,” “our Kingdom,” “this tremendous app”) is an independent app published under the developer account at greatlair.com. This Privacy Policy explains what information we collect, what we do with it, and what we absolutely, tremendously do NOT do with it.
By using this app, you enter the war room. And in the war room, we respect your privacy — unlike our enemies, who are very bad at it, frankly.
— Don Tzu, The Scroll of Transparency
Chapter IIWhat Intelligence We Collect
Know what data you hold, and know what data you do not. This is the path to compliance.
Information We Do NOT Collect
We do not collect your name, email, phone number, location, contacts, or any personally identifiable information. We don’t want it. We wouldn’t know what to do with it. Our kingdom has no use for your mother’s maiden name.
Information Collected by Third Parties
Our app uses Google AdMob to display advertisements. AdMob may collect:
- Device identifiers (advertising ID)
- General usage data and ad interaction data
- IP address (for approximate location and ad targeting)
- Device information (model, OS version)
This data is collected by Google, not by us. We have asked Google to show only non-personalized ads by default, because even Don Tzu believes in restraint — sometimes.
In-App Purchases
If you purchase the “Scroll of Serenity” (ad removal), the transaction is processed entirely by Apple’s App Store or Google Play. We never see your payment information. The only thing stored locally on your device is a flag that says: “This warrior has paid tribute.”
— Don Tzu, The Ledger of Minimal Data
Chapter IIIThe Fortress of Your Data
The supreme art of war is to protect your user’s data without fighting.
Your preferences and purchase state are stored only on your device using local storage. We do not operate servers. We do not have a database. We do not have interns reading your data. There are no interns. There is only Don Tzu.
We do not sell, trade, rent, lease, sublease, or otherwise engage in data commerce of any kind. Not even a little. Not even a tremendous deal could tempt us.
— Don Tzu, The Wall of Encryption
Chapter IVThe Ads of War
Advertisements are the supply lines of a free app. Cut them off, and the kingdom must charge admission.
We use Google AdMob to display banner advertisements. You may be asked for App Tracking Transparency (ATT) permission on iOS. You are free to decline — Don Tzu respects a strong negotiating position.
If you wish to remove ads entirely, you may purchase the “Scroll of Serenity” in-app. This is a one-time, non-consumable purchase that banishes all ads from your kingdom forever. A tremendous deal. Perhaps the best deal in the history of deals.
Google’s privacy policy governs their data collection: Google Privacy Policy.
— Don Tzu, The Revenue Scrolls
Chapter VThe Oracle of Ask Don Tzu
The Oracle hears your trouble, decrees a parody, then forgets. Anything else would be a very bad deal.
The “Ask Don Tzu” feature — where the avatar greets you and you speak your situation in your own words — is an AI-generated parody. It is not therapy. It is not legal counsel. It is not, as some say, anything. It is entertainment.
What Travels to the Oracle
When you submit a question:
- The text you typed is sent to our Cloudflare Worker (a small server, very tremendous, on the edge).
- From there, it is forwarded to Anthropic PBC, our AI provider, which generates the in-character reply. Anthropic’s privacy practices govern their handling — see Anthropic’s Privacy Policy. Anthropic does not use API submissions to train its models.
- Your text is hashed (SHA-256) and a vector representation of it is stored on our servers for up to 24 hours, so that identical or near-identical questions can be answered from cache without paying for a fresh consultation. The plain text is not stored beyond this window.
- Your IP address is processed for rate-limiting and abuse prevention, kept up to 24 hours, then deleted. We do not link it to anything else.
What You Should NOT Send to the Oracle
Do not include names of real people, addresses, financial details, medical history, government IDs, passwords, account numbers, or anything you would not write on the wall of a public bath. The Oracle is satire. The reply is satire. The whole temple is satire — never advice.
— Don Tzu, The Scroll of the Talking Avatar
Chapter VIThe Free Grace of the Oracle
A gift is not a tribute. The general grants the gift; the general may withdraw the gift. The asker is invited, not entitled.
The Ask Don Tzu Oracle is a free, optional grace. It is not a paid feature. It is not part of any in-app purchase. It is provided at our discretion, like a banquet thrown by a wise ruler — the ruler may end the banquet at any hour.
The Scroll of Serenity Does Not Include the Oracle
The “Scroll of Serenity” in-app purchase removes ads. Nothing more. It does not include the Oracle. It does not guarantee the Oracle’s availability. It does not entitle the purchaser to the Oracle’s continued operation. The purchase is for ad removal — a tremendous deal in itself, frankly — but the Oracle is a separate gift, granted freely and freely revoked.
What the Temple May Do
- The Oracle may be modified, rate-limited, paused, or discontinued at any time, for any reason or no reason, without notice and without refund. This applies equally to free users and to those who hold the Scroll of Serenity.
- Daily usage limits apply (currently a few questions per day on the web sampler, more on the mobile app — both subject to change without notice).
- The Oracle is provided “as is” without warranties of any kind. We disclaim all warranties, express or implied, to the maximum extent permitted by law.
The Reply Is Parody, Not Counsel
Every Oracle reply is AI-generated satire. It is not professional advice — not legal, not medical, not financial, not psychological. Do not act on it. Don Tzu, in the war tent or out, is for entertainment only. Believe me.
— Don Tzu, The Scroll of the Free Banquet
Chapter VIIThe Young Warriors
Even the mightiest general does not recruit children into the data army.
This app is not directed at children under the age of 13 (or the applicable age in your jurisdiction). We do not knowingly collect personal information from children. If you believe a child has somehow transmitted data to us — which would be remarkable given that we collect nothing — please contact us and we will swiftly investigate this mystery.
— Don Tzu, The Scroll of COPPA Compliance
Chapter VIIIYour Rights on the Battlefield
A wise ruler grants his people the right to know, the right to delete, and the right to be forgotten. These are good rights. Tremendous rights.
Depending on your jurisdiction, you may have rights under the GDPR, CCPA, or other privacy laws. Since we don’t collect personal data ourselves, most of these rights are already fulfilled by default. You’re welcome.
For data collected by Google AdMob, you can:
- Opt out of personalized ads via your device settings
- Reset your advertising identifier at any time
- Decline the ATT prompt on iOS
- Purchase the Scroll of Serenity to remove ads entirely
To delete locally stored preferences, simply uninstall the app. All local data will be destroyed — swiftly and completely, like an enemy fortress.
— Don Tzu, The Bill of Digital Rights
Chapter IXAmendments to the Scrolls
The wise general adapts his strategy. So too must the privacy policy evolve — but always with notice.
We may update this Privacy Policy from time to time. When we do, we will update the “Last Updated” date at the bottom of this page. Continued use of the app after changes constitutes acceptance of the new terms. This is the way of the warrior.
— Don Tzu, The Scroll of Amendments
Chapter XContacting the War Council
The gates of the war room are always open to those who seek counsel.
If you have questions, concerns, or compliments about this Privacy Policy, you may contact the War Council at:
We shall respond with the swiftness of a thousand horsemen.
— Don Tzu, The Open Scroll